It's an interesting mix of feelings that kind of swirl around my head daily. There's usually at least once every day when I am filled with hope with future expectations, and another part of the day when I'm filled with dread, thinking "what am I doing? I can't be a youth pastor!" But all the time, I am caught whispering constant prayers, asking God for wisdom, guidance, strength, and most of all, the power of God. I have so many influences in my life, many of them leading in different directions, and it's hard to know what direction to go very often. So I walk day to day, largely fearing to peer into long-range goals and commitments, because I know that one wrong turn today will have me a thousand miles out of my way after having been at sea for a few months. I am trusting in God. Or at least I think I am. I hope I am. Will you pray for me?
I get really excited about the new stuff we are doing. Right now, I am spending most of my time with the Children's Church. Keep in mind that, at my church, the "Youth Pastor" also assumes the role of Children's pastor as well. So my "pastorate" includes anyone between the ages of 6 and 18. Lot's of new ideas keep popping into my head faster than I can write them down.
- In effort to start working on more bible memory with the children, I wrote my first two bible songs (just bible verses put to music) and taught them to the kids last week. They LOVED them! I can't wait to do more.
- I want to put a major emphasis on prayer. I will begin writing down names of all the students in our church, putting them on a big poster board or something (with special needs written beside them if there are any), hang it up in my office, and pray for those names every day. I will encourage other youth workers to do the same.
- I am really looking forward to taking the teens to the FWB Youth Conference this year, and take the opportunity to spend some time with them at the Edge challenge course which will teach lessons in teamwork. In the midst of that, I want to have some intense small group discussions on "unity" and "spiritual maturity", as opposed to the natural order of the day, in which our teens are scratching each other's eyeballs out, and afraid to open up about anything for fear of being judged.
- I want to get serious about doing bible studies with the teens in their Sunday School class (abandoning the weak Sunday School literature that they are issued). This fall, after Windermere, I'm going to challenge them to read through the book of Genesis (or Matthew, haven't decided yet), and write down any thoughts or questions they have about their readings, and turn them in each week. In January, we will begin a study in Genesis (or Matthew), and I will use their feedback which they have submitted for the last several weeks to help me as I prepare lesson plans.
- colors! we are going to paint the Children's Church room with colors other than gray and hand-print white. I also intend to implement the use of rugs for sitting on. That's right, we're getting rid of chairs and sitting on the floor!
- giving teens opportunities to get their feet wet in ministry by having them help me in the Children's program on a rotation basis.
- SS Teacher training! Yay!
I'm looking forward to all of this kind of stuff. But Thursday night, Lord willing, the Children's board will be having a meeting in which we will be discussing the direction of the Children's ministry. And I find myself going back to a question a boy once asked in a Sunday School class, about 7 years ago when I was sort of youth pastoring at another church. I don't even remember what the lesson was about, but out of no where, this 12-year-old boy blurts out words that I will never, ever forget. He asked "What are we supposed to be doing? Like, I know that we're supposed to get saved and ask Jesus into our heart and all that, but, like, after that... what are we supposed to do?"
Did you catch that?
For me, the question was not so much asking for a tirade about "read your bible and pray every day", though perhaps such an answer could have been appropriately communicated. But the question, to me, was more a question of "how do I assume this role of 'Child of God'? How does this new commitment I've made toward Christ affect the whole of my direction in life and my self-identity? How do I engage in incarnational living and live a holy life which marks a true Christian?"
Okay, maybe I read way too much into his question. I like to think that these were the deep, profound sentiments that this 12-year-old son-of-a-redneck was intimating to his timid, inexperienced, newly "Purpose Driven" 19-year-old substitute Sunday School teacher. But I remember thinking that no "Five Purposes" or four spiritual laws or seven habits of highly effective people or "read your bible and pray every day" pat answer was going to get at his question, as I perceived it.
Maybe it was only because I was asking the same question. "What am I supposed to be doing?" I don't remember how I responded to his question, or the other teacher that was there with me, but I remember it was something weak and insignificant. The last I heard, that boy had graduated High School and was having nothing to do with church. I always blame myself, because I didn't have a good answer for him that day, but I imagine it was probably more like a life of being given petty, meaningless answers. Growing up in church, being spoonfed bible questions and answers, having never seen or heard a powerful demonstration of the gospel. The Christian life is far more than...
"read your bible, pray every day"
"Don't cuss, drink, smoke, or chew,
and don't run around with the girls that do,
or else, we're gonna excommunicate you"
"Potluck Sunday! It's called 'fellowship'!"
But in a rural church setting, sometimes it's hard NOT to get the impression that this is what religious livin' is all about. Living out the Christian life is certainly more profound than these cultural caricatures that seem to characterize it in certain regions of the country, but how do we get past the misconceptions, and get at the heart of true Christian living? What's it about? "What are we supposed to be doing?" As individuals? As churches?
Now, the question that I am now asking, as a youth pastor is, "what am I supposed to be doing?" That is, what is my role? What steps should I be taking? What are my responsibilities? Is there some model from those youth ministry courses I took and books I read that I should be implementing? Should I simply be waiting on the Lord to come down in a flash of lightning to give me a game plan for what to do, or pray for revival and expect that everyone else is doing the same? Is there such a thing as "direction" in youth ministry, or do I simply teach and preach the gospel, and hope that "direction" will find itself as the providence of God works itself out?
There are a few different ways these questions have been answered, and usually the ones that involve trusting in God and using the natural gifts He has given us are the only ones that make sense. I only have a few goals.
- I want to have youth at our church see some real models of Spirit-led, victorious Christian living by their adult role models. I can't produce that in others, I can only start with myself (and my wife, to a degree), being diligent to walk in obedience to the Spirit. I want to be a model of prayer, and one who encourages, exhorts, instructs, and comforts, while encouraging others to "imitate me, as I imitate Christ." No one was ever discipled by curriculum or a program, but by Spirit-led mentors and true demonstrations of the power and the love of God.
- I want to help Christian parents in our church see themselves as the REAL youth pastors here, to help them assume the role of one who would "train up a child in the way he should go" and to "teach these commandments to your children" and to "suffer the little children to come to Jesus, and forbid them not" and to "not exasperate your children to the point of dispair", etc. The Youth Pastor can only do so much with 1-2 hours a week.
- I want to help teachers understand what they are teaching, and to become more effective communicators. Of course, this will only be of any help if the teachers themselves are also Christlike examples in their walk, no matter how well they communicate or know their bible.
Lofty goals? Beit or not, they are my primary burdens. If God changes them, so beit.
So what do you think? Whether you are in youth ministry, senior pastoral ministry, or a church janitor, just trying to serve Christ......"What are we supposed to be doing?"
